Soccer

Match report from last week. Graciously it does not mention me by name as the cause of the first goal we conceded (the keeper was calling that the ball was his, but I tried to play it anyway and ended up tripping on it). Only played the first half because I have been pulling up lame (lower back) after every game and practice.

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Rd08: Kooyong (h)

MP3 4 v Kooyong 3

Idyllic conditions

Following the recent shocking run of results for the Thoras, Sunday’s match against fellow strugglers Kooyong had taken on much more importance than envisaged at the beginning of the season and if we were to lose this game, relegation looked a probability rather than a possibility

The pitch was verily a green carpet and a privilege to play on; ex-players lined the sidelines and gave heartfelt encouragement – all the ingredients were there for MP3 to raise their game and turn this ship around

The only thing missing was a referee. Robbo, who had come down early from the 2s, preferred not to do it claiming that he didn’t know any of the rules of football. This is a little surprising given that he has played the game for 20 odd years but with a sweet face like that, who could believe he was ever telling a pork pie?

Anyway, this left coach Parmar to take the whistle as Kooyong were unable to suggest an alternative. They did bring some supporters with them (2 young ladies), but I think their boyfriends objected. Fair play – after all, Mike Newell did raise some very interesting points and made a persuasive case. As we got ready to play, we were bemused by the sight of Parmar sprinting (!) to the dressing room. Never one to take himself too seriously, Parmar returned to the pitch sporting shorts and a black top and looking every inch the proud referee…Good on you, son!

Wolst on crack, Parmar takes the reins

Parmar was in sole control for this game, and he gently reminded this reporter that the last time he was entrusted in sole charge was the match against Carringbush – MP3’s only other league victory this season…is this mere coincidence? A straw poll of the dressing room deemed that Parmar had the better personality, but Wolst was better-looking. Suppose it depends whether you are after a one-night stand or a long-term relationship. Richie Abbey commented that the most-fanciable current coach at the club was clearly Jason “Spandau Ballet” Hart. This was disputed by Leon Charles and Mickey Merkel who both believed Vinny was the cutest of all and “a real little bundle of fun”. No takers for Lee Gordon though – why, oh why, oh WHY????

First half

The first half started in a fashion that was depressingly familiar to MP3, specifically a period of pressure and lively football up top followed by defensive shenanigans and a goal conceded. There was an innocuous through ball which trickled through, letting the man escape and slot home. It was very encouraging to see not everyone turned on each other (it’s a sad fact that there has been too much finger-pointing this season) and instead we all rallied round to raise our collective efforts.

The MP3 juggernaut slowly clicked into gear and began to trundle along. A well-worked passing move led to Andy Webster being teed up by Bav and he made no mistake with a crisp finish. Better was to come though – Bobby Ledger was having a decent enough game on the wing and made the breakthrough from a corner (compliments to Ledger for some excellent corner deliveries throughout the match) which bobbled its way through to Leon Charles to give us the lead which was the way it stayed until half time

NoWolst = no pancakes…

…was the rule that MP3 players painfully found out in the dressing room. Nothing at all in fact other than the quiet, humble preachings of Parmar. His word carried more gravitas when it was spoken from under an unfeasibly large, curly bouffant but his tips on keeping on top of the opposition and carry on doing what you are doing were well-received nevertheless. Dave G-Man came on for Schnitzius and 5 mins into the 2nd half Storm came in for Colin.

MP3 were on a bit of a role here as Leon poached another. It was a well-deserved goal as Leon has worked hard this season for some limited rewards. Same for Bhav – he nodded one in from close range from another Bobby Ledger corner. Leon came off for Matt Davies and Richie Abbey pulled his hamstring after another hard-working and committed performance so was replaced by Mark Crawshaw.

4-1 to MP3 and only 25 minutes to go– a great feeling being enjoyed by all! Special mention must go to the defence generally but particularly Robin Tunderman who put in an excellent performance at full-back winning all his tackles and making some very solid challenges. Micky Merckel came in to center-half as well and his organizational skills were most welcome in plugging what had been previously a very leaky defence as well as making a number of crucial interceptions/clearances. Probably the best performer however was Joel in goal. He made 4 crucial one on one saves which really sealed the result for us – thanks for agreeing to come down and play for us mate!

However, the blissful notion of cruising home to victory was a fallacy and in the last 20 minutes, things began to go a bit pear-shaped. The warning signs were there when Kooyong hit the bar (and also the post) but when they grabbed one back, it led to a very nervous finish.

For reasons best known to himself, Ammers opted to play 9 minutes injury time. Given that we had only won once all season and we were narrowly ahead in the current game, you might have expected a little leniency from our own manager/referee. Alas, no. Alarmingly, Kooyong grabbed another after 96 mins making the score a worryingly close 4-3. Fortunately, they were unable to get the equalizer and we held on for a morale-boosting victory that moves us out the bottom 2.

Next week

Big game next week against the other team at the bottom, Old Xaverians. Hopefully, we can use this result as a foundation to go on a decent run for the rest of the season and continue climbing the table. Key thing will be to retain the defensive solidity that has seen us only concede one goal in the last two games…